I shouldn’t complain; I have a good job, I get to help people and no day is ever the same. I really should be – not necessarily excited but – happy to go back.
I think the major reason I am underwhelmed is because I’ve not been feeling great recently. As some of you may know, I have Ulcerative Colitis. It is a bit of a bugger of a condition – some of the main symptoms are stomach cramps, anaemia, bleeding when you go to the bathroom (sorry if you are squeamish) but the one symptom that gets me the most is the fatigue.
You can often get something called Deep Bone Fatigue or Deep Muscle Fatigue and recently I have had that. It is awful. You can’t life your arms or your legs. You literally lie there telling your body to move and it just won’t respond. It is horrid.
I thought I would be ok once I received my medication. Since I was diagnosed I have been taking 4000mg of a medication called Pentasa. Last year I started on a second medication which had to be administered intravenously called Infliximab. This has been a wonder drug. I have felt fantastic. I felt like I had a piece of my life back. I fear I have become slightly agoraphobic because having UC I often panic because of the bathroom issues. I won’t use public transport because the panic sets in and it can be awful; most of the time I stay in and read. I don’t really have a social life.
Anywho, I digress. Unfortunately, when I went for my infusion in October I had a reaction. My throat closed over and my eye started to swell. After a shot of Piriton and a cortisol-steroid I was fine. But, they had to monitor me on my next infusion. The same thing happened on my last infusion that took place on December 23rd. My body is rejecting the medication. This is not the first time that this has happened (to read about that click here).
The medication that I had been relying on to make me feel better has let me down. I have to make a decision about the next medication but my next appointment is at the end of the month. I don’t know how I am going to get through the next few weeks. I really don’t.
Ah well, c’est la vie.
To make myself feel better I was a wee bit naughty. I bought books. It helped. If only I could read myself better.
Hope all of you have had an easy start back into work. I will keep you updated.