My Writing Journey 23.08.15

For many years I have harboured a dream to write novels. I think this is true of many avid readers. This year, along with plenty of previous years, I made the resolution that I would make this dream a reality. This was going to be the year; I set myself a deadline (August), I emotionally prepared myself write a novel. I made all the usual procrastinating promises to myself. Ooh once you have this piece of software or read this book on writing or did this course that I would start writing. Heck, I even told a few people that I wanted to do it just to give me that added incentive to write. This was going to be my year.

This wasn’t my year.

I haven’t written a sodding thing besides book reviews. The frustrating thing is that I have read some truly dire books. Honestly, drivel for 300+ pages and I have had that thought to myself I can write better than that. It turns out I can’t. It turns out that this whole writing malarkey is harder than you think.

I knew what I wanted to write about but when I sat down last night and stared at the blank screen in front of me I just fell apart. Everything that I was writing came across as putrid and unrealistic. The characters came across as false and whiney. It was just plain awful.

My boyfriend sent me a message asking me how the writing was going and I took a tantrum saying that I am giving up and I am not doing it and he cannot make me. I should explain that my boyfriend is a professional working writer. After he listened to my meltdown, he laughed with a smile on his face and told me that I will just have to try again tomorrow.

See, the thing is, he has faith in me that I can do this. And whilst he is not a fan of fiction (I know, it is shocking) he encourages me because he knows that writing is something that I will be good at. I know I will be good at it. I just need to get over the fear of actually putting pen to paper or finger to keyboard.

A novelist called Lynsey James and I were talking over Twitter the other day and she said that she struggled getting over the fear and you just have to tell it to go away. We came up with a collective mantra that goes “Oh piss it, you cockwomble.” Not the most eloquent of quotes about fear or it being the fear itself that we fear but I think it will suffice.

So this is going to be a new series on my blog. I won’t post all the time, just the times that I am struggling or that I feel that I have something to vent about or what not. I’m not even going to tweet about them so anyone that reads this…hello. Any words of encouragement or whatnot will always be appreciated.

Love L x

7 Comments

  1. 23rd August 2015 / 7:23 am

    Lisa, keep at it. I started with a book of poetry and then short stories. Short stories can be an easier way to start but also teaches you to write tight. Have my first novel coming out October. On my blog if interested. Good luck.

    • 23rd August 2015 / 8:38 am

      Thank you so much. Stories like this give me so much hope. I spent a lot of this past week plotting and planning, thinking about scenes and characters and I will do it. I just need to fight the fear. Genuinely, your kind words really do help.

      Good luck with your book release in October. I will look out for it!

      L x

      • 23rd August 2015 / 9:22 am

        Lisa, just a thought, but do you ever just write without plotting or planning. Everyone is different butI find this a very free way to do the first draft. then on second draft I pull the anomalies together. Just a thought. Everyone writes differently so by no means a guarenteed help.

        • 23rd August 2015 / 9:58 am

          I think my main problem is that I have ideas but no structure. I work better to a direct path, deadline. I tried free writing but then I get lost and bored. Personally, I need the structure.

          L x

  2. 23rd August 2015 / 11:22 am

    I hear you… I started so many stories in the past, the idea was in my mind, but somehow the enthusiasm just disappeared in a cloud of smoke after a few chapters. Then, suddenly, after having the same story idea for ten years, I just sat down and started writing. The story took over, and wrote itself in four months. I suspect it had something to do with the death of a family member after years of illness (just over ten years, come to think of it, the same time I could not write it down) – I never realized how much energy such a thing can steal from you. Once the funeral was over, it was like the proverbial floodgates had opened and the story flowed out on its own, with such power all I had to do was to let my fingers type it. The editing, however, has taken over a year, but I prefer to get a good story out instead of publishing it as soon as I can. Time will tell if others want to read it, but I at least I have proven I can write a long novel. Oh, and like carpetlessleprechaun said above: write the first draft without too much analyzing. Then you have the basic story out, and you subconscious tells you that you are a writer!

    • 23rd August 2015 / 2:19 pm

      Aww thank you.

      Firstly, I’m sorry for your loss. Never a good feeling losing someone you love.

      Secondly, congratulations on getting your manuscript down. I am always in aww of how people do that. One day I will hopefully get to write ‘The End’ and have that same sense of achievement.

      I do plan on keeping things updated on here so hopefully the next few writing posts will be more positive.

      L x

  3. 17th February 2016 / 2:26 pm

    Well, this was a few months back so I hope you’re making progress… As others have said, it’s a matter of cultivating a routine, sticking at it, revising again and again – and the one day, it’s there! Good luck!

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