The Crimes of Grindlewald by JK Rowling

Title: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald – The Original Screenplay

Author: JK Rowling

Pages: 315 Pages

Publisher: Little, Brown

The Blurb

At the end of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the powerful Dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald was captured in New York with the help of Newt Scamander. But, making good on his threat, Grindelwald escapes custody and sets about gathering followers, most unsuspecting of his true agenda: to raise pure-blood wizards up to rule over all non-magical beings.

In an effort to thwart Grindelwald’s plans, Albus Dumbledore enlists Newt, his former Hogwarts student, who agrees to help once again, unaware of the dangers that lie ahead. Lines are drawn as love and loyalty are tested, even among the truest friends and family, in an increasingly divided Wizarding World.

This second original screenplay from J.K. Rowling, illustrated with stunning line art from MinaLima, expands on earlier events that helped shaped the Wizarding World, with some surprising nods to the Harry Potter stories that will delight fans of both the books and films.


The Review

As you may well know, my love for the Harry Potter series knows no bounds. I love it, I love it, I love it. Equally, I am in love with the Fantastic Beasts series. All I want in life is a house with a library and two bathrooms AND for JK Rowling to continue writing back story to the HP series. With Fantastic Beasts I kind of have one, now I am just holding out for the house with the library and two bathrooms (fingers crossed folks).

The Crimes of Grindlewald brings us to a character we first heard about in the Harry Potter series. The eponymous Grindlewald has been spoken of a lot in the Pottermore universe and it seems that we are getting to know a lot more about him and how he approaches wizardy. We are also seeing a remarkable resemblance of thinking to He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (*coughs Voldemort).

What I love about The Crimes of Grindlewald is that it leaves you wanting more. Something that JK does best.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald – The Original Screenplay by JK Rowling is available now.

For more information regarding JK Rowling (@jk_rowling) please visit

For more information regarding Little, Brown (@LittleBrownUK) please visit

I am so excited about reading the last two Harry Potter books. Mainly because it will be like reading them for the first time since I think I have only read them once or twice. I know I won’t remember much about them and will have many questions but it is going to be totally awesome (StarKid reference there for all you PotHeads).

So here we go!

  • Ok, a bridge breaking and a lack of policemen – The Half Blood Prince could be set in 2018, that is all I am saying.
  • I am going to be fuming if the wizarding world is real and they have old Theresa Bloody May before me!
  • ‘…a wizard who has eluded capture for almost three decades.’ Write his story JK!
  • All the destruction caused by the Death Eaters, the murder of Amelia Bones, the fog and sadness caused by the Dementors – it makes Brexit seem like small fish really, doesn’t it?
  • In my head, Rufus Scrimegeour looks like my uncle Martin – this helps none of you reading this as you have no idea what my uncle Martin looks like.
  • I wonder what Bellatrix and Narcissa were like in school? Write it, JK!
  • If I could perform the Imperious Curse I would make JK write more Harry Potter Books.
  • When you think about it, the Death Eaters following Voldemort is really an allegory for the perils of radicalisation. JK is one smart cookie.
  • Inferi just sound terrifying. Essentially they are zombies but calling them Inferi makes them sound ten times worse.
  • ‘An Excess of Phlegm’ is an awful name for a chapter. Bleurgh!
  • Go Arthur with your promotion. I love the Weasley’s and with my red hair I could totally be related to them.
  • You know, for teenagers, Harry, Ron and Hermione are pretty fearless. Hermione’s gumption when she is in Knockturn Alley is amazing.
  • It’s so frustrating when people disbelieve Harry. He is actually quite level headed…you know if we disregard him running off to the Ministry of Magic and getting his godfather killed – oh that was way harsh!
  • Tonks has a new Patronus? What is it? What was her old one? I have only read this book twice (I think) but I feel this is important information. I need to know these things.
  • ‘There’s no need to call me “sir”, professor’ Damn! Harry got stupid brave.
  • Slughorn offers Felix Felicis as a prize in potions class which just goes to show that my theory of reward based learning works.
  • I feel so sorry for Merope. Bless her. She is a squib and her son is Voldemort. Such bad luck!
  • What happened to Morfin? Oh come on JK, this is getting ridiculous now. Write his story.
  • Hermione has just said that the entire stock of timeturners were broken in the Order of the Phoenix but she has one in the Cursed Child – interesting. Mistake or deliberate? You decide. ..Or I could just look for the answer by rereading The Cursed Child.
  • Dumbledore said “whence” – I love that word. People should use it more often.
  • Ron and Ginny bickering over snogging is so funny. I kinda agree with Ron, like. Who wants to see a massive PDA?
  • Why is Malfoy not playing Quidditch? The plot thickens?
  • I’m just gonna say it. Ginny is sassy. The way she took out Zacharias for his crap commentating and then passed it off as “forgetting to brake” – the girl has style.
  • Ron – as Ginny rightly says – is a hypocrite…but I must admit Lavender Brown is a great name.
  • Ok, so it is one thing to mark notes in a book with a pencil but it is quite another to do it in pen. I quite agree with just how upset Madam Pince gets with Harry.
  • Oh I love Luna. I love how she thinks that she has to die one eyebrow for Slughorn’s party. She is legendary. I have found that as I have read the books as an adult my love for characters differs. Luna has become my favourite.
  • Ron and Hermione trying to make each other jealous is both painful and hilarious.
  • Dammit, why won’t anyone believe that Draco is working for Voldemort? Harry isn’t a liar and his gut instinct is usually right (again, we will bypass the whole Sirius dying in the Ministry for the sake of making my point).
  • Also ‘Won Won’ – bleurgh!
  • What happens to the pensieve memories once a person dies?
  • You know it is something majorly hidden when even Hermione doesn’t know about it. She hasn’t even heard of horcruxes.
  • I wonder if horcruxes has some magical root in its word t have been chosen by JK. I must look this up.
  • I love Ron when he is all high on love potion infused chocolate cauldrons. I knew a girl who acted the same way although her was because of cheap alcopops. She couldn’t decide who she loved more: Lee from Deuce, Spike from 911 or Robbie from Take That (this was in the 90s). Making the decision reduced here to alcohol induced tears.
  • Luna Lovegood should commentate on all Quidditch matches – she has such a dreamlike quality to her voice. I love her.
  • Harry is so smug when he hears Ginny and Dean fighting. He lurves her.
  • Ooh I bet Dumbledore’s disappointed face is brutal.
  • ‘In fact, I doubt whether there is a soul alive, apart from himself, who could give us a full account of his life since he left Hogwarts.’ Oh really JK? Write his story.
  • The parallels between Harry and Voldemort are quite shocking. It’s not surprising that people originally thought they may be related.
  • The meeting between Tom and Dumbledore – man. It puts you in mind of when Churchill and Hitler met. Mind boggling.
  • Harry Potter is a page folder. This, above all things that have happened so far, has broken me.
  • Ron has just told Hermione he loves her. I am trying not to break but oh my gosh, I love this! Ron and Hermione forever.
  • I wonder how many house points Harry lost for Gryffindor in his time at Hogwarts in total.
  • Ok, whilst I find it difficult to feel sad about a giant dead spider I do feel really sorry for Hagrid. I don’t like it when he is upset.
  • I know I am not a huge fan of the films but I must admit when Harry drinks the felix felices it is Daniel Radcliffe’s defining moment as an actor in these movies. He is brilliant. One of my favourite scenes in all seven books, too.
  • You know what? Dumbledore is proper clever.
  • Ok, so here is a crazy thought. After Cedric Diggory died why did Dumbledore not extract that memory from Harry and put it in the pensieve to show Fudge thus proving that he isn’t a liar.
  • Ginny is defending Harry and getting sassy with Hermione. Ginny has really come into her own. I love that JK is totally a feminist.
  • Harry loves Ginny and Ginny loves Harry. Hurrah!
  • Ooh Harry is mad at Dumbledore and rightly so. He just found out that Snape knew about the prophecy. Dom dom dom. I had totally forgotten about this.
  • I love how Dumbledore refers to the blood donation as crude. He says it like the wrong cutlery has been used at a dinner party. Oh lol.
  • Dumbledore just referred to Voldemort as Lord Voldemort. I can’t remember that happening at any other point in this series.
  • The drinking/cave/horcrux scene is still so hard to read. Terrifying, man.
  • I wonder if we will ever know what Dumbledore was ranting about when he was in the cave (coughs *JK* coughs)
  • I have four chapters let and I am not entirely sure I am emotionally prepared for what is about to happen.
  • Holy moly. The dark mark. Oh I have a very bad feeling about this.
  • Oh Draco nearly come good. That is unbearably sad. He didn’t want to be evil.
  • Ok so here is my question you can only use the unforgivable curse if you have intent. Does that mean Snape really did want to kill Dumbledore?
  • Oh poor Hagrid. He doesn’t want to believe Harry about Snape killing Dumbledore. This is too sad.
  • And Dumbledore’s death starts the mighty blood bath that is the Deathly Hallows. I still haven’t finished the Half Blood Prince but I’m already feeling it!
  • Remus is all angsty about loving Tonks…because he is in love with Sirius. Yeah.


Since writing this out, some of my questions have been answered. Some still haven’t but that is ok. I am still genuinely worried about reading the Deathly Hallows because I actually think I have only read it once. I don’t think it will disappoint but I just know it will be heartbreaking. Ah, well. I think I will just have to put on the big girl pants and do it.

Wish me luck!

Lis x

So it has been a few years since I have read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I started my re-read of the Harry Potter series last year but somehow my momentum dwindled but it is all okay. I am back and I am going to get the last three books read before Christmas…of this year. Hopefully.

I remember buying Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It was the first book of the series that I would be buying on release day. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to go to a midnight opening to buy it. As luck would have it, I had to babysit my cousin Amy that night so instead I went at the crack of dawn the next morning. To put into perspective just how early this was I saw people leaving clubs and doing a walk of shame in Liverpool town centre as I went to WH Smith to pick up my pre-ordered copy. I also got given some free pencils but that is beside the point really.

For the rest of that day and all of the next, I sat in the living room refusing to talk to anyone until I had finished. I sobbed. It was horrible. It broke me. And now here we are, a number of years later and I know I am not prepared to read it again but I also know that I have to.

Therefore, I give you the 96 thoughts I had as I re-read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Enjoy!

  • Oh my gosh. A drought. A hot summer. A hosepipe ban. This is art imitating life right now!
  • Someone has apparated in Privet Drive Do we find out who it is? I can’t remember.
  • God, I forgot just how pissy and whiney Harry is at the beginning of this book.
  • I’m 34 years old, five books into the series (that I have read on numerous occasions) and the Dementors are still terrifying.
  • Yay, Mrs Figg. See this is why I like JK. She sets us up to know about Mrs Figg from book one but only now, in book five do we realise her importance. Genius.
  • Oh man. Harry Potter has been expelled. Well this sucks.
  • ‘They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban.’ Said Aunt Petunia – BOOM! Just like that JK shocks us again! Brilliant.
  • Knowing what I know now, was the ‘weird boy’ James or Snape?
  • Who sent Petunia the howler? I forget.
  • I mean, I can understand why Harry is pissy. No one is telling him anything. It must be so isolating…but yeah he is being a whiney b*tch.
  • I’m sorry but I still firmly believe that Moody should have been played by Anthony Hopkins.
  • When you think about it, Harry Potter is like royalty. Getting from one place to another with his guards, everyone watching his moves. Give him ginger hair and he is Harry Windsor…but with a wand.
  • OK, I have said it before and I will say it again. JK give the people what they want. We want a series about the Order of the Phoenix. All the years leading up to Voldemort’s demise. I mean, I know you are giving us a bit of the past with Fantastic Beasts and I love you for that but this would make such an exciting series. If you ever read this then please, please, please let me get what I want (a little Smiths reference there for you). Thank you!
  • Oh the betrayal Harry feels. Totally with you on that Harry Potter. Sometimes it hurts more when friends let you down.
  • Although with all this petulance and snark you come across as a right moody teen.
  • I think I would like to learn how to apparate. It would make travelling to see my fiancé so much easier (not to mention quicker and cheaper!)
  • Ooh I had forgotten about Percy and his need for status. The one Weasley to go astray but strangely by following the book.
  • Yay Sirius! But boo because I know what is going to happen later on.
  • Mundungus Fletcher always reminded me of Del Boy. It would have been too weird if he was played by David Jason though.
  • ‘Whip out your wands’ hehehe oh JK.
  • Oh it is uncomfortable when Molly and Sirius argue. You see where Molly is coming from but I kind of side with Sirius. He is Harry’s godfather and to be fair none of the rest of the story would happen if Harry had just been told everything. So yeah. People need to tell people things and stuff!
  • ‘Personally,’ said Lupin quietly looking away from Sirius at last.’ There is a fan theory that Lupin is like seriously in love with Sirius. This theory is then furthered by the fact that he marries Tonks who can change her features…to look like Sirius, perhaps?
  • Oooh or the story of Sirius’s bad relationship with his mother. That would be interesting.
  • Sirius mentions Harry’s grandparents, James’s mum and dad. What happened to them? Or Lily’s parents for that matter.
  • What about Regulus’s story – we know he had a Horcrux but we need more information.
  • I love Mr Weasley’s enthusiasm for Muggles. Warms my heart.
  • Oh Percy, you fool!
  • Delores Freaking Umbridge. OK, I know that Voldemort was evil and the villain of the piece but I think I hated Delores Umbridge way more. In my head she is the biggest villain. She is evil!
  • Oh man, Fudge is losing his cool.
  • Yay! Harry is a free wizard!
  • Oh lol. Ron’s a prefect!
  • Luna Lovegood. I love her!
  • What is going on with Sturgis Podmore? Do we find out? I can’t remember.
  • Luna displays some characteristics that would be linked with Autism or Aspergers. If JK did this on purpose then woohoo go JK for her inclusion policy. Way ahead of her time. Or it might just be a happy accident.
  • Why hasn’t Harry seen the skeletal horse creatures before? He saw his parents die so in theory Harry should have been able to see them since book one. I wanna call the horse thingies Kestrals but I know that is wrong.
  • Oh I so wish I could go to Hogwarts!
  • I always felt that the Sorting Hat’s song to be a bit unnecessary. Kind of like the poems in the Lord of the Rings series.
  • I got so sad when Seamus doesn’t believe Harry. Why would he lie, Seamus? Why? Why?
  • Oh Oliver Wood. I miss you. Whatever happened to Sean Biggerstaff who played him in the film *checks IMDB*
  • I really think that Hermione could be the Minister of Magic one day.
  • Ministress? What is the feminine form of Minister? *Googles* Oh, it is still minister. I like it.
  • My English degree really came in useful then. £20,000 well spent!
  • God, I hate Umbridge.
  • Eurgh, the ‘Carefully structured, theory centred, Ministry-approved course’ is so something that the government and OFSTED would approve of – in other words, boring.
  • ‘I must not tell lies.’ This woman’s actions are abhorrent!
  • Poor Filch. I mean, I know that he is a pain in the ass but he is the epitome of the lonely old man who lives on your street that yells if you haven’t put your bins out on the correct day. I can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for him.
  • Ohhh, it is coming back to me now. Isn’t Sturgis under the Imperious Curse?
  • Next they will have an OFSTED inspection. Oh god, Percy you are so pompous we may as well call you Michael Gove.
  • NIFFLERS! I want a Niffler!
  • Hermione said Voldemort on the same night she said ‘There are things more important than homework.’ My world has been rocked.
  • Who is the hidden witch at the Hog’s Head? I can’t remember.
  • Holy crap. I have just realised it is JK’s birthday which means that it is also Harry Potter’s birthday. Happy Birthday to them both.
  • The enchanted stairs are a brilliant tactic to keep the boys out of the girls dormitory/ If only we had them in my school to make the students go to the correct classroom on time.
  • Thestrals – that’s what they are called. Not Kestrals Lisa, you doughnut.
  • Mundungus was the witch in the Hog’s Head. Of course, lol. I am dumb.
  • My chin scar has never given me random pain but if it ever did I will be very aware that I have an enemy.
  • Oh Winky, still a butterbeer-aholic. Bless but yay to Dobby!
  • My room of requirement would be filled with books…so essentially it would be a library.
  • It is confusing that Hermione isn’t inn Ravenclaw. She is so smart.
  • God, I love Luna and her lion hat!
  • God, Umbridge is evil!!! I can’t believe she gives a lifetime Quidditch ban to Harry, Fred and George. She is a monster.
  • Hagrid is back! Yay!
  • God, Cho Change is a drama queen. She is so bloody high maintenance.
  • Harry and Cho made with the smooches under the watchful eyes of the nargles hiding in the mistletoe.
  • ‘One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.’ God I love Ron!
  • I wonder if snakes will ever get rid of their bad reputation.
  • Oh poor Neville. You cannot help but feel sorry for him. My heart breaks for him.
  • What do wizarding children do before Hogwarts? Do they go to a normal sstyle of school but in the wizarding community? Like where do they learn English and Maths?
  • Ooh the death eaters have broken out of Azkaban. Meep!
  • Cornelius Fudge has warned the ‘muggle prime minister’. If this book was set in the present day then all muggles would be screwed.
  • Oh Harry, when you are on a date with one girl do not mention another girl. You doughnut!
  • Although I stand by my earlier assessment that Cho is a drama queen.
  • I still maintain that Rita Skeeter should have been played by Bernadette Peters.
  • I tell you what, Harry having the same dream over and over again is like Groundhog Day.
  • Barry Chuckle has died. Off topic, I know but man, sad day for children’s entertainment.
  • Oh Firenze, shunned for doing the right thing.
  • I love Fred and George. I love their sense of playfulness and whimsy. For what is life without whimsy?
  • I really believe that it is book five when Harry Potter grew up. He was confronted with the thing we all must go through at some point – when we realise that our parents aren’t, in fact, infallible but that they are human after all.
  • I love it when McGonagall takes none of Umbridge’s crap. Go Minerva! Nope that is too disrespectful – she has to be addressed as Professor McGonagall.
  • I was never a fan of Grawp.
  • I can’t believe they stunned McGonagall. Those B*st*rds!
  • Oh I know what is coming up soon and I don’t want it to happen.
  • Umbridge is using physical support on Harry. Erm, that is so not allowed.
  • I cannot believe she was going to use an unforgivable curse on Harry Potter. She is evil.
  • She is so pissed on power.
  • Oh the veil. Sob!
  • I know she is evil, by god, but Bellatrix LeStrange is amazing and perfect casting in Helena Bonham Carter.
  • I mean, she has just used the cruciatus curse on Neville – what a b*tch but absolutely amazing in her unforgivable nature.
  • I remember reading Sirius’s death for the first time and being broken. Even though I knew it was coming now, it has still killed me. Oh sob!
  • I’m gonna need a few minutes to get over this.
  • Still getting over it.
  • Still broken.
  • ‘Lupin turned away from the archway as he spoke. It sounded as though every word was causing him pain.’ Because he was in love with Sirius.
  • Surely Narcissa and Bellatrix know where Grimauld Place is? I know where my relatives live.
  • Finally, Fudge admits that Voldemort is back. It only took 778 pages, dammit.
  • Oh the two way mirror is just cruel at this point.

I am emotionally drained.

That is one meaty-ass book. It is brilliant but you are hit with so much information your brain struggles to take it all in.

The last two books of the series are ones that I don’t know very well so the next two will be a revelation and an epic journey.

See you then,

Lisa x

So it has been a few weeks since I finished Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and I didn’t want to just dive into reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire straight away. But Harry Potter hasn’t been far from my mind. In fact, in between reading the two books it has been my birthday and at the grand old age of 34 it definitely had a Harry Potter theme. I was gifted with:

  • Two Harry Potter Hoodies
  • A Harry Potter Christmas Glitter Bauble
  • A Harry Potter T-Shirt
  • Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit
  • A Hedwig Keyring
  • Two Harry Potter Canvas Book Bags (one Hogwarts, one Slytherin)
  • A Harry Potter notebook
  • A Gryffindor Scrunchie (which my two year old niece took a liking to and subsequently stole)
  • Twelve pairs of Hogwarts House socks (Lisa, like Dobby, is a free elf)



  • An acceptance letter for Hogwarts. Eek, my life is complete.

I would happily do seven more years of high school if I could go to Hogwarts.

Anyway, it was an awesome birthday which promised Harry Potteresque adventures s now I must go on my next one…in the form of reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I’m a little bit scared.

  • Ok, straight away I’m wigged out. It starts at the Riddle House NOT at Privet Drive. This isn’t supposed to happen.
  • Poor Frank! He didn’t do it, I tell you!
  • See, this shows just how quickly gossip can spread.
  • Ooh, JK you whiley minx! Hinting to Wormtail about his right hand. Good God I love these books.
  • I like to imagine that Dumbledore goes on city breaks for his holidays. They should release a book of pictures of him in famous places and landmarks like the Eiffel Tower or the leaning Tower of Pisa.
  • Ok, so I know Mrs Weasley put too many stamps on the letter about the Quidditch World Cup to the Dursley’s, however, I commend her actions. There is nothing worse than when the post office holds your mail hostage. Actually, no there is something worse. It is worse when they hold your mail hostage AND THEN make you pay to get the damn thing. Go you, Molly Weasley!
  • I love that the nickname for Ron’s owl is Pig. I plan on getting a cat and I am going to call it fish.
  • Hedwig is such a dignified owl. I love how JK gives animals personal characteristics.
  • Oh the meeting with the Dursley’s and the Weasley’s is totally awkward turtle.
  • I love Mr Weasley. I love how he stands up for Harry against the Dursley’s. Now we see where Ron gets his protective nature from – his parents.
  • I love how JK champions other forms of success – not just academic. She knows the twins aren’t bookish but they are entrepreneurial. Go JK!
  • Oh gosh, I forgot how insufferable Percy becomes in this book.
  • I would love to be able to apparate. It would make my long distance relationship so much easier.
  • “Merlin’s Beard” is officially the best surprise response ever! I’m going to use it more.
  • I could have used a magical space tent – a TARDIS tent if I may – when I used to go to music festivals. At one point in around 2008 or 2009 (I forget when) I went camping at a festival. In my three person tent we housed six people overnight. It as a roasting hot August Bank Holiday. It was brutal but fun.
  • Yay! Go Oliver Wood being signed to a Quidditch team.
  • Winky! Winky the house elf. Oh I had almost forgotten about Winky…almost!
  • I wonder who invented Quidditch? I mean not like JK Rowling, I mean which member of the wizarding community?
  • It is strange that wizards celebrate Christian festivals and not pagan festivals. I also wonder if there are any Wizard specific ones like National Wizard Appreciation day
  • So, on reflection, the Death Eaters and Voldemort are a metaphor for terrorism I all its forms. People who act in a bad way to instil fear and terror into the masses. I’ve said it before but I will continue to say it, JK is a pioneer with the issues that she tackles.
  • And issues on modern day slavery with the house elves. So ahead of her times.
  • The Dark Mark – erm hello, so terrifying!
  • Oh poor Winky. She is so desperately sad. I can’t handle it.
  • Ok, not to sound like a bad wizard or team Voldemort but I really need to read The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts.
  • We have a Rita Skeeter mention. She so should have been played by film and theatre legend Bernadette Peters. Fact!
  • Poor Ron. I know what it is like to be the poor friend and not have the same amount of money as they rest of your mates. It sucks. Bless him.
  • Colin Creevy’’s brother Dennis is adorable. Imagine being excited because you fell into a lake. So cute.
  • Mad Eye Moody should have been played by the guy who played Hannibal Lector…what was his name?
  • ANTHONY HOPKINS! It took over twelve hours for me to remember that guy’s name. Far longer than it should have taken.
  • SPEW – Oh Hermione, you will change the world one day.
  • I love how Hedwig is so full of pride and indignation at Harry’s lack of gratitude. Someone needs to put him in his place. Go Hedwig!
  • Hermione is like Jeremy Corbyn…but better. Hermione for Prime Minister.
  • Oooh at fourteen, the Harry Potter gang are starting to notice the opposite sex more. Love, love, love….or you know, hormones.
  • I love how Madame Maxine called Dumbledore “Dumblydore” – gotta love the French.
  • I don’t like it when the gang fall out. Ron, Harry is innocent I tell you.
  • I would so love a quick quill pen – but not a mean one and mine would have purple ink.
  • Oh Hagrid, you old charmer – “Bong-Sewer” lol.
  • I love that amidst all the dragon angst and moaning JK gave Harry a human side by telling Cedric about the first task.
  • When you think about it, with the house elves, Hermione is a modern day suffragette.
  • Dobby is back!
  • Oh Winky, you poor repressed elf.
  • When I was in high school we had dodgy school discos where lads had competitions to see how many girls they could kiss and you drank from upside down carton drinks. The Yule Ball sounds so much fancier.
  • Seriously, how unbearably cure is it that Dobby has a bauble attached to his tea cosy hat? I am just melting.
  • Socks are Dobby’s favourite clothes. Socks are my favourite clothes. Therefore I am Dobby.
  • Completely off the topic of Dobby and the Yule Ball but I wonder how much teachers at Hogwarts get paid?
  • Ok, confession time. When I first read the Harry Potter series I had never heard the name Hermione before and I pronounced it “Hermwarne.” Viktor Krum can’t say Hermione. I couldn’t say Hermione. Therefore, I am Viktor Krum…and Dobby.
  • Oh Rita Skeeter – as much as you aren’t a villain villain, you really are a nasty cow.
  • Oooh Bagman is a bit crooked. Isn’t he shifty?
  • I’ve never tasted Butterbeer. I wish they sold it in supermarkets for me to try.
  • “Inappropriate charms on a goat.” Oh JK, you slay me.
  • Moaning Myrtle is a little perv.
  • I love it how indignant Hermione gets because the library hasn’t provided the answers I’m with you there, Hermione. Libraries are magical.
  • Pansy Parkinson is really insufferable. She is a proper flibbertigibbet.
  • Padfoot Returns is one of those fabulously revealing chapters. All of Barty Crouch’s secrets are being revealed.
  • Oh Winky has become a little alcofrolic. Bless her and her butterbeer soaked liver.
  • Oh I forgot that there were nifflers in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I want a niffler so freaking badly. They remind me of micropigs looking for truffles. Funny story, Inthought that micropigs found chocolate truffles. It took my fiancé explaining to me that it is a different kind of truffle. I think that was the moment he fell in love with me thogh so win win. I am going to get a micropig and train it to find chocolate for me.
  • Oh dear. Love spurned Hagrid is a tad xenophobic, isn’t he?
  • Oh I love it when Sirius goes all godfatherly on Harry. He’s stepped up, son!
  • I wonder if a penseive takes away the pain of certain memories.
  • Also I love the Penseive chapter. It is another revealing one.
  • I wonder how Mad Eye Moody got his magical eye? There is a story in that, JK.
  • Ok, I don’t like mazes because of their being no bathrooms. They remind me of queues for rides in the fair ground. I know how to get out of them but I still don’t like them.
  • Harry and Cedric are so noble. I love them both.
  • When I first read the Harry Potter series (eighteen years ago) and it got to the scene in the cemetery I put the book down and refused to read it for a week because I was that upset.
  • No words are more terrifying “Lord Voldemort has risen again.”
  • Oh Voldemort hints at the horcruxes. How did I miss this?
  • Ok, so the Death Eater chapter – terrifying but I’m also finding Voldemort’s waffle quite camp…and I like it.
  • Oh the ghosts at the wand duel – I can’t even handle it.
  • Cedric’s final wish kills me.
  • The plot twist at the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is bloody amazing.
  • “For a fleeting instant, Harry thought he saw a gleam of something like triumph in Dumbledore’s eyes.” – This always made me question Dumbledore’s integrity and goodness. Was he proud of Voldemort/Tom Riddle? It makes you think that Dumbledore isn’t as good as he seems.
  • All it took was a motherly hug to Harry from Mrs Weasley and I am a broken woman. Oh god here come the tears.

I feel emotionally drained. I know what I am getting in the next three books but man I want to read them.  I know I am going to be a broken woman.

Poor Cedric, his death was one of the worst deaths in the whole series. I genuinely don’t know how I can handle any more heartbreak.

Wish me luck!

So I’m off work sick at the moment and obviously Harry Potter is my comfort blanket. Let’s hope that Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban will work its magic and make me feel better.

I always say that Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is the book that changes this series that stops it being for children. It starts getting really dark. Also I have an overwhelming memory of being on a train going to see my granddaddy in Eastbourne and reading this book. It was a re-read but something happened that was shocking that I had forgotten about and I took an audible gasp of breath. The people on the train all turned and looked at me. I apologised and told them I had forgotten that this thing happened and then sheepishly hid behind the book. For the life of me I can’t remember what it was that shocked me so much but when it happens again I will be sure to write it down.

Ok, here goes:

  • Who was the most feared wizard before Voldemort? Was it Grindlewald?
  • “Don’t let the Muggles get you down!” I totally forgot that Ron said that! Love it!
  • People should wear Fez more often.
  • Oh my. JK wrote the word “bitch.” Ok it was used in the technical sense but see, this is just as I said, the books are becoming more adult.
  • I think I would enjoy riding buses more if I could sleep on them. I once missed my bus stop (which happens to be at the start of a big hill) after I had just been to my university library. I had to walk over a ruddy big hill to get home, shattered, carrying twelve very large hardback books on Race in Post-war America. I resumed the nap the moment I got home.
  • Hermione is a September baby – perhaps a Libra like me…because we rock.
  • When is Hermione’s birthday?
  • *Googles Hermione’s birthday* It is the 19th of September 1979 – not quite a Libra. Boo.
  • You know, Harry could totally eliminate the element of surprise in his life if he just did some wizard research into his own past.
  • Oh Harry! You have been so starved of love that a hug from Mrs Weasley must have felt awesome.
  • I don’t know why but whenever the journey to Hogwarts takes place in my brain when I am reading the books the weather instantly becomes wintery – really blustery winds and heavy rain. I feel like it needs to be read in that weather to feel the same impact. As I read this chapter it is grey and rainy. Perfect…except that it is 18:15 on a September evening.
  • Holy crap the Dementors are scary in my head.
  • I can’t believe Hermione Granger is sassing a teacher. Bolshy move, Granger!
  • The knight, Sir Cadogan, in the painting reminds me of the little dog in Labyrinth. God I love that movie.
  • Lupin is just a stand-up guy. He is the teacher you remember for the right reasons. He is Hogwarts version of Shirley Donnelly. I should preface this by saying that Shirley Donnelly was my favourite teacher in high school. She, along with Jane Granger in primary school and Elina Vitkala in college were the best people ever.
  • Oh I had forgotten about the Hufflepuff/Slytherin quidditch match switcheroo. Ooh and the first mention of Cedric Diggory.
  • Ooh Ron jumping to Hermione’s defence once again. He lurves her. He lurrrrrvvvvesss her! As a side note, I must try to remember that I am 34 years old and not in high school and it isn’t classy to mock fictional characters.
  • Aww Cedric Diggory tried to do the right thing. Man, he was a good guy. Oh, pre-emptive sob!
  • Oh, the Marauder’s Map. My sister bought me a Marauder’s Map mug last year for my birthday. Tea has never tasted so mischievous.
  • Well the Minister of Magic was a bit remiss with his security discussing Sirius Black at the Three Broomsticks.
  • The Marauder’s Map chapter has to be one of the most revealing chapter of the whole book series. Bloody brilliant.
  • Oooh, Harry is right pissy at the moment. To be fair, he has just learned that Sirius Black got his parents killed at the hands of Voldemort but he is still very whiney.
  • Dumbledore likes chipolatas. I like chipolatas. Therefore, I am Dumbledore.
  • I’m yet to figure out what my patronus is. I have an idea that it is a crossbreed. I would love it to be a unicorn because they are awesome but I reckon it might be a bookworm. Maybe a book-a-corn – a bookworm with a horn?
  • When you think about it, Quidditch is like Formula 1. It’s not necessarily the driver (or the broomstick rider) t is the car/broomstick that gives you the advantage. Also this is a damning indictment into the lack of funding for sports in schools.
  • I don’t like it when Ron and Hermione are fighting. Bring back the love, JK.
  • “My dad didn’t strut.” – Strut is a funny word.
  • Poor Hagrid and Buckbeak. Sob.
  • Go on, Hermione. I don’t condone violence but Malfoy had that slap coming to him.
  • Flibbertigibbet is one of my all time favourite words of ever.
  • We should all take a minute to appreciate Lee Jordan’s Quidditch commentary. Bloody brilliant.
  • I feel like my heart has been in my mouth these past few chapters. So many revelations.
  • You have to wonder though, where was the pastoral care at Hogwarts? I mean, seriously? There needs to be another book in which Harry deals with all of his life drama. It could be called Harry Potter and the Therapists Couch.
  • Peter Pettigrew – you little shit!
  • Oh Harry, for a brief moment you were happy. You had a family with Sirius.
  • Dementors – truly terrifying. I cannot say this enough. If you want it emphasised then please see point 12.
  • Ok, so I can’t just breeze past Hermione’s secret (the time turner – which, by the way, I have) without commenting on the glaring error of why did nobody just use a time turner years ago to foil Voldemort and, you know, save Lily and James? I love you JK but you didn’t think this one through. Still my favourite book though!
  • Oh, when Dumbledore can’t fix things for Sirius is like when you realise that your parents aren’t superheroes. Sadness.

God, I love this book. Such a glorious story. I didn’t manage to remember what I forgot. Perhaps I need Neville’s Rememberall. It is disappointing that I can’t remember but I will get over it. Especially as I am currently basking in that post Harry Potter glow.

Next up, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Exciting.