So it has been a few weeks since I finished Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and I didn’t want to just dive into reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire straight away. But Harry Potter hasn’t been far from my mind. In fact, in between reading the two books it has been my birthday and at the grand old age of 34 it definitely had a Harry Potter theme. I was gifted with:

  • Two Harry Potter Hoodies
  • A Harry Potter Christmas Glitter Bauble
  • A Harry Potter T-Shirt
  • Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit
  • A Hedwig Keyring
  • Two Harry Potter Canvas Book Bags (one Hogwarts, one Slytherin)
  • A Harry Potter notebook
  • A Gryffindor Scrunchie (which my two year old niece took a liking to and subsequently stole)
  • Twelve pairs of Hogwarts House socks (Lisa, like Dobby, is a free elf)

And….

Finally….

  • An acceptance letter for Hogwarts. Eek, my life is complete.

I would happily do seven more years of high school if I could go to Hogwarts.

Anyway, it was an awesome birthday which promised Harry Potteresque adventures s now I must go on my next one…in the form of reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I’m a little bit scared.

  • Ok, straight away I’m wigged out. It starts at the Riddle House NOT at Privet Drive. This isn’t supposed to happen.
  • Poor Frank! He didn’t do it, I tell you!
  • See, this shows just how quickly gossip can spread.
  • Ooh, JK you whiley minx! Hinting to Wormtail about his right hand. Good God I love these books.
  • I like to imagine that Dumbledore goes on city breaks for his holidays. They should release a book of pictures of him in famous places and landmarks like the Eiffel Tower or the leaning Tower of Pisa.
  • Ok, so I know Mrs Weasley put too many stamps on the letter about the Quidditch World Cup to the Dursley’s, however, I commend her actions. There is nothing worse than when the post office holds your mail hostage. Actually, no there is something worse. It is worse when they hold your mail hostage AND THEN make you pay to get the damn thing. Go you, Molly Weasley!
  • I love that the nickname for Ron’s owl is Pig. I plan on getting a cat and I am going to call it fish.
  • Hedwig is such a dignified owl. I love how JK gives animals personal characteristics.
  • Oh the meeting with the Dursley’s and the Weasley’s is totally awkward turtle.
  • I love Mr Weasley. I love how he stands up for Harry against the Dursley’s. Now we see where Ron gets his protective nature from – his parents.
  • I love how JK champions other forms of success – not just academic. She knows the twins aren’t bookish but they are entrepreneurial. Go JK!
  • Oh gosh, I forgot how insufferable Percy becomes in this book.
  • I would love to be able to apparate. It would make my long distance relationship so much easier.
  • “Merlin’s Beard” is officially the best surprise response ever! I’m going to use it more.
  • I could have used a magical space tent – a TARDIS tent if I may – when I used to go to music festivals. At one point in around 2008 or 2009 (I forget when) I went camping at a festival. In my three person tent we housed six people overnight. It as a roasting hot August Bank Holiday. It was brutal but fun.
  • Yay! Go Oliver Wood being signed to a Quidditch team.
  • Winky! Winky the house elf. Oh I had almost forgotten about Winky…almost!
  • I wonder who invented Quidditch? I mean not like JK Rowling, I mean which member of the wizarding community?
  • It is strange that wizards celebrate Christian festivals and not pagan festivals. I also wonder if there are any Wizard specific ones like National Wizard Appreciation day
  • So, on reflection, the Death Eaters and Voldemort are a metaphor for terrorism I all its forms. People who act in a bad way to instil fear and terror into the masses. I’ve said it before but I will continue to say it, JK is a pioneer with the issues that she tackles.
  • And issues on modern day slavery with the house elves. So ahead of her times.
  • The Dark Mark – erm hello, so terrifying!
  • Oh poor Winky. She is so desperately sad. I can’t handle it.
  • Ok, not to sound like a bad wizard or team Voldemort but I really need to read The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts.
  • We have a Rita Skeeter mention. She so should have been played by film and theatre legend Bernadette Peters. Fact!
  • Poor Ron. I know what it is like to be the poor friend and not have the same amount of money as they rest of your mates. It sucks. Bless him.
  • Colin Creevy’’s brother Dennis is adorable. Imagine being excited because you fell into a lake. So cute.
  • Mad Eye Moody should have been played by the guy who played Hannibal Lector…what was his name?
  • ANTHONY HOPKINS! It took over twelve hours for me to remember that guy’s name. Far longer than it should have taken.
  • SPEW – Oh Hermione, you will change the world one day.
  • I love how Hedwig is so full of pride and indignation at Harry’s lack of gratitude. Someone needs to put him in his place. Go Hedwig!
  • Hermione is like Jeremy Corbyn…but better. Hermione for Prime Minister.
  • Oooh at fourteen, the Harry Potter gang are starting to notice the opposite sex more. Love, love, love….or you know, hormones.
  • I love how Madame Maxine called Dumbledore “Dumblydore” – gotta love the French.
  • I don’t like it when the gang fall out. Ron, Harry is innocent I tell you.
  • I would so love a quick quill pen – but not a mean one and mine would have purple ink.
  • Oh Hagrid, you old charmer – “Bong-Sewer” lol.
  • I love that amidst all the dragon angst and moaning JK gave Harry a human side by telling Cedric about the first task.
  • When you think about it, with the house elves, Hermione is a modern day suffragette.
  • Dobby is back!
  • Oh Winky, you poor repressed elf.
  • When I was in high school we had dodgy school discos where lads had competitions to see how many girls they could kiss and you drank from upside down carton drinks. The Yule Ball sounds so much fancier.
  • Seriously, how unbearably cure is it that Dobby has a bauble attached to his tea cosy hat? I am just melting.
  • Socks are Dobby’s favourite clothes. Socks are my favourite clothes. Therefore I am Dobby.
  • Completely off the topic of Dobby and the Yule Ball but I wonder how much teachers at Hogwarts get paid?
  • Ok, confession time. When I first read the Harry Potter series I had never heard the name Hermione before and I pronounced it “Hermwarne.” Viktor Krum can’t say Hermione. I couldn’t say Hermione. Therefore, I am Viktor Krum…and Dobby.
  • Oh Rita Skeeter – as much as you aren’t a villain villain, you really are a nasty cow.
  • Oooh Bagman is a bit crooked. Isn’t he shifty?
  • I’ve never tasted Butterbeer. I wish they sold it in supermarkets for me to try.
  • “Inappropriate charms on a goat.” Oh JK, you slay me.
  • Moaning Myrtle is a little perv.
  • I love it how indignant Hermione gets because the library hasn’t provided the answers I’m with you there, Hermione. Libraries are magical.
  • Pansy Parkinson is really insufferable. She is a proper flibbertigibbet.
  • Padfoot Returns is one of those fabulously revealing chapters. All of Barty Crouch’s secrets are being revealed.
  • Oh Winky has become a little alcofrolic. Bless her and her butterbeer soaked liver.
  • Oh I forgot that there were nifflers in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I want a niffler so freaking badly. They remind me of micropigs looking for truffles. Funny story, Inthought that micropigs found chocolate truffles. It took my fiancé explaining to me that it is a different kind of truffle. I think that was the moment he fell in love with me thogh so win win. I am going to get a micropig and train it to find chocolate for me.
  • Oh dear. Love spurned Hagrid is a tad xenophobic, isn’t he?
  • Oh I love it when Sirius goes all godfatherly on Harry. He’s stepped up, son!
  • I wonder if a penseive takes away the pain of certain memories.
  • Also I love the Penseive chapter. It is another revealing one.
  • I wonder how Mad Eye Moody got his magical eye? There is a story in that, JK.
  • Ok, I don’t like mazes because of their being no bathrooms. They remind me of queues for rides in the fair ground. I know how to get out of them but I still don’t like them.
  • Harry and Cedric are so noble. I love them both.
  • When I first read the Harry Potter series (eighteen years ago) and it got to the scene in the cemetery I put the book down and refused to read it for a week because I was that upset.
  • No words are more terrifying “Lord Voldemort has risen again.”
  • Oh Voldemort hints at the horcruxes. How did I miss this?
  • Ok, so the Death Eater chapter – terrifying but I’m also finding Voldemort’s waffle quite camp…and I like it.
  • Oh the ghosts at the wand duel – I can’t even handle it.
  • Cedric’s final wish kills me.
  • The plot twist at the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is bloody amazing.
  • “For a fleeting instant, Harry thought he saw a gleam of something like triumph in Dumbledore’s eyes.” – This always made me question Dumbledore’s integrity and goodness. Was he proud of Voldemort/Tom Riddle? It makes you think that Dumbledore isn’t as good as he seems.
  • All it took was a motherly hug to Harry from Mrs Weasley and I am a broken woman. Oh god here come the tears.

I feel emotionally drained. I know what I am getting in the next three books but man I want to read them.  I know I am going to be a broken woman.

Poor Cedric, his death was one of the worst deaths in the whole series. I genuinely don’t know how I can handle any more heartbreak.

Wish me luck!

So I’m off work sick at the moment and obviously Harry Potter is my comfort blanket. Let’s hope that Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban will work its magic and make me feel better.

I always say that Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is the book that changes this series that stops it being for children. It starts getting really dark. Also I have an overwhelming memory of being on a train going to see my granddaddy in Eastbourne and reading this book. It was a re-read but something happened that was shocking that I had forgotten about and I took an audible gasp of breath. The people on the train all turned and looked at me. I apologised and told them I had forgotten that this thing happened and then sheepishly hid behind the book. For the life of me I can’t remember what it was that shocked me so much but when it happens again I will be sure to write it down.

Ok, here goes:

  • Who was the most feared wizard before Voldemort? Was it Grindlewald?
  • “Don’t let the Muggles get you down!” I totally forgot that Ron said that! Love it!
  • People should wear Fez more often.
  • Oh my. JK wrote the word “bitch.” Ok it was used in the technical sense but see, this is just as I said, the books are becoming more adult.
  • I think I would enjoy riding buses more if I could sleep on them. I once missed my bus stop (which happens to be at the start of a big hill) after I had just been to my university library. I had to walk over a ruddy big hill to get home, shattered, carrying twelve very large hardback books on Race in Post-war America. I resumed the nap the moment I got home.
  • Hermione is a September baby – perhaps a Libra like me…because we rock.
  • When is Hermione’s birthday?
  • *Googles Hermione’s birthday* It is the 19th of September 1979 – not quite a Libra. Boo.
  • You know, Harry could totally eliminate the element of surprise in his life if he just did some wizard research into his own past.
  • Oh Harry! You have been so starved of love that a hug from Mrs Weasley must have felt awesome.
  • I don’t know why but whenever the journey to Hogwarts takes place in my brain when I am reading the books the weather instantly becomes wintery – really blustery winds and heavy rain. I feel like it needs to be read in that weather to feel the same impact. As I read this chapter it is grey and rainy. Perfect…except that it is 18:15 on a September evening.
  • Holy crap the Dementors are scary in my head.
  • I can’t believe Hermione Granger is sassing a teacher. Bolshy move, Granger!
  • The knight, Sir Cadogan, in the painting reminds me of the little dog in Labyrinth. God I love that movie.
  • Lupin is just a stand-up guy. He is the teacher you remember for the right reasons. He is Hogwarts version of Shirley Donnelly. I should preface this by saying that Shirley Donnelly was my favourite teacher in high school. She, along with Jane Granger in primary school and Elina Vitkala in college were the best people ever.
  • Oh I had forgotten about the Hufflepuff/Slytherin quidditch match switcheroo. Ooh and the first mention of Cedric Diggory.
  • Ooh Ron jumping to Hermione’s defence once again. He lurves her. He lurrrrrvvvvesss her! As a side note, I must try to remember that I am 34 years old and not in high school and it isn’t classy to mock fictional characters.
  • Aww Cedric Diggory tried to do the right thing. Man, he was a good guy. Oh, pre-emptive sob!
  • Oh, the Marauder’s Map. My sister bought me a Marauder’s Map mug last year for my birthday. Tea has never tasted so mischievous.
  • Well the Minister of Magic was a bit remiss with his security discussing Sirius Black at the Three Broomsticks.
  • The Marauder’s Map chapter has to be one of the most revealing chapter of the whole book series. Bloody brilliant.
  • Oooh, Harry is right pissy at the moment. To be fair, he has just learned that Sirius Black got his parents killed at the hands of Voldemort but he is still very whiney.
  • Dumbledore likes chipolatas. I like chipolatas. Therefore, I am Dumbledore.
  • I’m yet to figure out what my patronus is. I have an idea that it is a crossbreed. I would love it to be a unicorn because they are awesome but I reckon it might be a bookworm. Maybe a book-a-corn – a bookworm with a horn?
  • When you think about it, Quidditch is like Formula 1. It’s not necessarily the driver (or the broomstick rider) t is the car/broomstick that gives you the advantage. Also this is a damning indictment into the lack of funding for sports in schools.
  • I don’t like it when Ron and Hermione are fighting. Bring back the love, JK.
  • “My dad didn’t strut.” – Strut is a funny word.
  • Poor Hagrid and Buckbeak. Sob.
  • Go on, Hermione. I don’t condone violence but Malfoy had that slap coming to him.
  • Flibbertigibbet is one of my all time favourite words of ever.
  • We should all take a minute to appreciate Lee Jordan’s Quidditch commentary. Bloody brilliant.
  • I feel like my heart has been in my mouth these past few chapters. So many revelations.
  • You have to wonder though, where was the pastoral care at Hogwarts? I mean, seriously? There needs to be another book in which Harry deals with all of his life drama. It could be called Harry Potter and the Therapists Couch.
  • Peter Pettigrew – you little shit!
  • Oh Harry, for a brief moment you were happy. You had a family with Sirius.
  • Dementors – truly terrifying. I cannot say this enough. If you want it emphasised then please see point 12.
  • Ok, so I can’t just breeze past Hermione’s secret (the time turner – which, by the way, I have) without commenting on the glaring error of why did nobody just use a time turner years ago to foil Voldemort and, you know, save Lily and James? I love you JK but you didn’t think this one through. Still my favourite book though!
  • Oh, when Dumbledore can’t fix things for Sirius is like when you realise that your parents aren’t superheroes. Sadness.

God, I love this book. Such a glorious story. I didn’t manage to remember what I forgot. Perhaps I need Neville’s Rememberall. It is disappointing that I can’t remember but I will get over it. Especially as I am currently basking in that post Harry Potter glow.

Next up, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Exciting.